The Brooklyn Wolves are pleased to announce the signing of starting pitcher Vernon Larry to a two-year deal.
Larry is a veteran of the league, having spent the last six years as the ace of his former staff. Mr. Larry brings an impressive 45 wins to the table, as well as a track record of over 1000 innings pitched. We feel that he can be a valuable member of our pitch... hold on, one second please.
<> What? What do you mean he has 111 losses to go with those 45 wins? What do you mean his career ERA is over 5? Why didn't you tell me this before I went out there? < / aside >
Ahem, where was I? Um, er.... oh yeah. Larry is, um, er, well... he's a swell guy, a real pal around the, um, clubhouse. He, um, er, did have a winning season back in 2007, when he went 13-12. He, er, um... ah, the heck with it. He's here. This press briefing is at a close.
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