Crazy Nate's Ballplayer Swap! (formerly a used ballplayer swap)

Formerly 'used' because some of them have barely been off the lot!

Available for sale this offseason are these fine young players...you won't find players like this on any normal lot. At Crazy Nate's you find the special deals for special people. People like you, you, and especially YOU there in the back! Don't be shy! These deals won't last forever. Once the logjam is broken, once the quantum cusp is popped, once we know for SURE that Schrodinger's cat is alive or dead it will be too, too, TOO late, my friends. Step right up and take a look at:

Starting Pitcher John Okane - Take Okane off the lot and give him a test! Over the last three years Okane has gone 46-27 with a strikeout to walk rate of 587/177. That's 3.31-1 in the control department! And his ERA? Lifetime, 3.24. Last season? 2.88! He's getting better, gentlemen.

Ed Scull - Here's another fine piece of pitcher flesh. Only the truly discerning GM will know the true value of a pitcher who went 16-9 last year and has won at least 16 games each of the last four years. With an ERA consistently under four each of the last FIVE years and a lifetime mark of 3.58 he's a staff ace waiting for you to just pick him up. In addition, his 'Well Known' status should help your attendance!

On the offensive side of the ball I present for your edification...

Marcus Alcazar - A ***** hitting prospect who plays first base Alcazar at age 22 is a ready-to-play genuine prospect of the sort you don't see every day. And he can be yours! In a cup of coffee last September Marcus hit .333/.368/.444 on top of a AAA campaign in which he hit .316/.395/.422 and a AAA VORP of 34.5! Lest you think it's a fluke his lifetime AAA numbers are .322/.400/.415! If you need a man for the home team side of the field he's your man. And with years of minimum wage or arbitration ahead of him he's easy on the pocketbook!

Ronald Amos - Also a 1B but with versatility, Ronald Amos is another ***** prospect that plays 1B, LF, and RF and can provide both offense and flexibility to your lineup. Play him where you need him and watch the wins pile up! For River Cities last year Amos hit .294/.326/.417 in less than half a season. In AAA in 2013 he hit .318/.369/.473 and he could do it for you next year at one of three positions! At 24 he's another fine piece of young player that you can count on for a good five or six years before he gets pricey!

Jesse DuBreiul - Yes, friends, the 2014 Rookie of the Year could be on your team for opening day. With a hitting line last year of .319/.365/.526 this 23 year old monster can bring smiles to your face for years to come. Already rated as 'popular' at a very young age you can see that any team that has young Jesse will reap greats things both in the wins column and at the box office just by having him on your team!

Also available are useful parts like Bill Allen, Santiago Salazar, and Timothy Palacio.

Crazy Nate is selling brand new, shiny-shiny players this year! Take advantage of these special offers today! The crazy one takes young players under 23 and very high round draft picks. No credits cards accept but all proposals will be given solid, timely consideration. Apply today! I'm waiting to hear from YOU!