Seattle and Hickory today agreed on a trade of promising prospects. Hickory will receive catcher Barney Maxon while Seattle acquires first baseman James Dodd.
Hickory also receives $5 million in small, unmarked bills. Well, the bills are regular-sized, but you know what I mean. Oddly, Hickory asked for the cash to be delivered in an unremarkable suitcase to someone claiming to be the deputy GM, a man known as Tony "No Thumbs" Tarantino.
Dodd helps fill the massive void left when Greg Marzano took the free agent money and ran to the wilds of Seattle's rival, the Saskatoon Amigos, and when Tim Palacio took less money to play for a team in Cleveland. Dodd is expected to duel with Jose Guzman for the starting job in spring training.
"Admittedly, we were a little shaken by the fact that both Marzano and Palacio spurned us, but it must be because they're afraid of the success that comes with being a Monarch," said Seattle Owner/GM Mack Shultz. "We want players that want to be here and are willing to wear all those Cecil Cup rings. Hopefully, Jim Dodd will be that guy."
Maxon, meanwhile, was crestfallen. "I got away from that lunatic in LA in an offseason trade and came to this amazing organization, but then I get traded away again before I have the chance to show what I can do. It's disappointing, to say the least."
With this deal, the Seattle roster appears set for the regular season, unless Shultz gets bored again.
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