Monday, March 17, 2014

Valentin Traded, World Barely Notices

Hickory celebrated Paul Shunk's 500th career home run this week by trading for someone to cut into his playing time; in a trade that did not rock the baseball world to its foundations, the Huskers sent a sixth round pick in the upcoming amateur draft to the Brick Barracudas for outfielder Claudio Valentin.    "We needed to deal with Bo Bice getting hurt… again…" said Hickory Owner/GM Frank Ferrara from downtown Hickory, where the populace had somehow managed to avoid rioting over the deal, "and Valentin can catch a baseball at least 80% of the time it's hit directly at him, which is a big improvement over our other options out there."

Following the completion of this deal, cats and dogs did not begin living together, pigs did not fly, and Seattle definitely did not fall out of first place in the Zotti division, because let's not get ridiculous here, people.

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