PRESS RELEASE, issued April 1, 2010.
The defending Cecil Cup Champions, the Seattle Monarchs, look forward to their finest season ever.
"We've brought back basically everyone from last year's team, including the entire starting line-up, rotation, and bullpen," said Owner/GM Mack Shultz. "We've got an excellent mix of veterans and youth. Our veteran leaders include last year's Adams League Outstanding Batter of the Year, outfielder George Rawlins. We've got starting pitcher Peter Bird, who turned the tide in last year's Cecil Cup, 2009 All World third baseman John Willer, and two bullpen mainstays in Mark Deschamps and Sam Contreras."
"We also have star players in the prime of their career, such as first baseman Greg Mudge, outfielder Sean Arant, the catching platoon of Waylon Blassingame and Stephen Herbert, stud starting pitcher Chad Nelligan and the best left handed reliever in baseball, Tim Vallejo."
"What people don't often realize though is that we have the second youngest team in baseball. A lot of key guys are 26 and under, including outfielder Lonnie Machen, three fifths of our starting rotation in Christopher Hester, Izzie Frau, and Isaac Diehl, and the middle of our infield in second bagger Frankie Armendariz and shortstop Carmelo Deleon.
"We also have a number of young superstars ready to burst onto the scene. Eugene Alustiza at third is going to be platooning with John Willer. Outfielders "Rimfire" Cedeno and "Bingo" Stelly are going to start the year in AAA Tacoma but will doubtlessly make their mark sometime this year. I mean, look at Cedeno, he posted a 1.089 OPS in his time in the majors last year and we've sent him back to AAA for goodness' sake."
"We warned our Adams League foes last year that it was likely their last chance to catch the Monarchs for a while. Then, our team rose to the occasion and brought home the Cup. With the foundation we've laid, I expect another 110 win season and to be back in the Cup series and bringing home championships for a number of years."
Coming off their first championship, fan interest has hit a record high level and Monarchs Vice-President of Business Gordon Gecko announced that every game this season already has been sold out.
"[...]and the best left handed reliever in baseball, Tim Vallejo."
ReplyDeleteAhem.
Timmy's been doing it for longer. Let me know when Cuomo's career ERA finally drops below Vallejo's.
ReplyDeleteBesides, it's my press release. So there.
Poll the other ten owners. Ask them which reliever they'd rather have.
ReplyDeleteOh, wait, never mind. Cuomo's been the All World reliever for the past two seasons.
And Cuomo has how many division titles those two years, let alone Cecil Cups?
ReplyDeleteTake your time. It can be hard to count to zero.
So, Vallejo's the best left-handed reliever who has been in the league the longest and played in the most playoff games?
ReplyDeleteNo. I'm still saying Vallejo is the best left-handed reliever overall. He's my guy, and I can be as subjective as I want.
ReplyDeleteSheesh, you whine a lot for an also ran.
Down, boy.
ReplyDeleteI'm just questioning your qualifications when you state that Vallejo is better than Cuomo.
2009 Cecil Cup.
ReplyDeleteThere's my qualifications. :)
P.S. I'll also admit, nine comments in, that I forgot Cuomo was a lefty.
ReplyDelete