Seattle today sent AA outfield prospect Guan-xiu Tien and $12,000,000 in cash in small, unmarked bills to Norfolk today in exchange for the return of Seattle's second-round pick in next year's draft.
"We saw that Norfolk was going to end the year with a cash flow problem," said Seattle Owner/GM Mack Shultz. "I wasn't surprised by that, given the league's wacky economics. I mean, even ESPN Seattle is ripping off the Monarchs. They've paid us almost $70M less this year for the TV rights than we had previously agreed. You'd better believe they'll be hearing from our lawyers.
"Where was I? Oh yeah, the trade. Anyway, thanks to some frugal decisions, we had some extra cash that would have been seized by the communists at the league office thanks to their beloved 'cash cap.' I thought we could find a way to work something out that would keep Norfolk in the black and help everyone. I mean, Tien's no world beater, but he's young and has some potential and should be able to step into the starting line-up for Norfolk's AA squad."
In the background of the press conference, two Monarchs front office employees known only as Walter and Skyler were seen preparing the cash for shipment to Norfolk.
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