With the start of the 2030 season, and the beginning of the fourth decade in our league, young thirteen-year-old Madeleine Weintraub, marketing director of the team that has called the Delaware Valley home for the past eleven seasons, has issued a statement:
"The team formerly known as the Alaska Kodiaks, Stockholm Sluggers, Mighty Manatees of Florida Baseball Club, South Bay Scorpions, Los Angeles Scorpions, and Shackamaxon Lenape is now to be known as the Philadelphia Hornets.
"Talking with my friends at middle school, and they know about our team, with our dreamy ace starter Alejandro Baez, and totally hot slugger Benjamin Anderson, but they can't pronounce the name, and it gets misspelled all the time."
The team's name change is effective immediately, and Ms Weintraub and the rest of the marketing team will be working hard (after completing their homework, of course) on new branding and marketing ideas for the upcoming season.
Boooooooo. Do you have any idea how many of my charts I have to update every time you move your franchise? Booooooooo.
ReplyDeleteHmm, team name change as strategic weapon. I hadn't considered that before.
DeleteDoesn't this violate child labor laws? #hornetsnest ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's an internship. :)
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