Maui GM Trades His Dong

Maui GM Matt Macario made headlines in the fake baseball community today when he agreed to trade his Dong.

That's right - to the surprise of many, Maui has traded superstar first baseman Dong Lutz to the Danville Dans in exchange for veteran SS Robert Camarena and promising AAA SS prospect Hernando Albacete.

Many are questioning why Maui would trade away the extremely popular Dong, particularly after coming so close to a Cecil Cup berth this year. "I know this will not be a popular move among the Maui fanbase," Macario admitted. "In fact, I expect to get an email any day now advising me that the enthusiasm of our fans has 'crashed'. But in these economic times, we need to find creative ways to achieve the financial flexibility necessary to explore the free agent market and add new team members."

Dong, a career .298/.408/.544 hitter with 361 home runs, will slide right into the revamped Danville lineup, which already got a boost when it acquired "Rimfire" Cedeno earlier today. Danville fans were said to be lining up to buy season tickets, ecstatic with the move. Maui fans, however, had a different take.

"We got the shaft," said an angry group of fans clustered in a Kihei bar. "Well, we had the shaft, and then our stupid GM sent our shaft away. Something like that. You get the idea."

Clearly, Dong's hefty contract played a role in the move. "When I woke up from a drunken stupor the morning after we signed him to his contract a few years ago, I couldn't remember how it happened," Macario confessed. "$25 million per year is a lot for any Dong," he said. "Frankly, I was blown away."