Seattle Deals Superstar Outfielder; Return of Favorite Son Rumored

Seattle Owner/GM Mack Shultz announced a huge trade today to a startled audience. On the heels of losing superstar slugger Dong Lutz to free agency, the Monarchs traded their biggest remaining power threat, rightfielder David Kerry, to division rival Hickory Huskers. Instead of a known commodity coming back in return, Seattle got a hodge podge of prospects in reliever Nicolas Vargas, AAA infielder Miguel Salazar, A-ball reliever Fei-hsien Bao, and Hickory's first round pick in the 2015 amateur draft. In addition, Seattle sent Hickory $8 million in cold, hard cash.

"I know, I know," said Shultz to a bristling audience packed with booing fans. "But, this isn't the whole deal. When you see what happens by Opening Day, you'll be happy." The fans were not amused, pelting Shultz with garbage.

"What the hell?" fumed Monarchs diehard Joe Schmoe. "I mean, I know we've won a lot of titles, but to lose Lutz and Kerry in one offseason? That's just nuts." Schmoe's point was well-taken, as Kerry led the Monarchs with 15 RBI in 13 games this past postseason.

"We really like the guys we got as some contributors to future Monarchs titles," explained Shultz. "We think Vargas can be a stopper, Salazar a starter in a year or two, and like Bao's potential. Plus, first round picks are always nice, even in crappy drafts."

As reporters left the press conference, rumors began to circulate of a handshake agreement between Hickory and Seattle on a second deal. Reportedly, the deal will include Monarchs injured outfielder Lonnie Machen going to Hickory when healed and former Monarchs mainstay Gregory Mudge returning to Seattle. Mudge had been traded to Hickory midseason in 2013 for Lutz and now apparently will be returning to claim his old position at first base. Cash and possibily an additional prospect are also rumored to be exchanged. However, consistent with league policy, no deals involving injured players can be final until the player heals. Machen is expected to recover from his torn back muscle around the start of Spring Training.

"What? Mudge is coming back?!?" exclaimed Schmoe when he heard the rumor. "That's f*&$ing fantastic! He'll be able to become the all-time home run leader in a Seattle uniform. Outstanding!"

The Monarchs front office was taking no steps to squelch the rumor, lending credence to it. Reportedly, recent acquisition Stephen Jackson may be seeing some playing time in the outfield, after Mudge's return. Jackson had no comment on the rumors or the day's events.