New York Closer Collection Expands

The New York Gothams added their second reliever in as many hours, dealing a pair of prospects to Hickory in exchange for 29-year-old closer Bill Dewall. Dewall, who has compiled 17 saves in half a season at Hickory (good for third in the league), will join Willie Sewell, acquired earlier in the day from Seattle, to give New York a solid pair of right-handed setup men behind lefty closer Junior Cuomo.

Hickory GM Frank Ferrara reaffirmed his deep and abiding commitment to ridding the Hickory Huskers roster of players with absolutely ridiculous names. "We believe that closers, in general, are a pretty fungible commodity," noted Ferrara, when reached for comment. "We think getting decent value in exchange for players we feel we can replace from within the organization is the key to our rebuilding."

"Mostly, though, it was the name," says Ferrara. "I mean, we got rid of Dong Lutz, because who can seriously root for a guy with the first name 'Dong?' This was the obvious next step, because 'Bill Dewall?' Seriously, 'Build a Wall?' Hickory can never be taken seriously until we stop putting guys on the scorecard who sound like they were named by J.K Rowling."

Hickory receives two prospects in return: third-baseman Carlos Pais, who has compiled solid numbers at AA Long Island and is a capable defender at three infield positions; and AA outfielder Dave Quinones, only 19. "Our scouts seem to like these guys," says Ferrara, "even if OSA thinks they're terrible. I mean, sure, Quinones is flirting with the Mendoza line right now against AA pitching. But at least he doesn't have a totally ridiculous name."