Friday, January 16, 2009

Seattle Ships Out Demiras

The Seattle Monarchs announced today the second trade of Tony Demiras in as many sims, shipping the former Hickory Husker on to the Danville Dans. Demiras, who had three at bats for the Monarchs during his brief 15 days on the roster, is accompanied by starting pitcher Isidro Frau. In return, the Monarchs aquired AAA reliever Joshua Stoker.

The Monarchs refused to hold their typical press conference, but the trade is believed to have stemmed from the fracas last Saturday at the Lusty Lady. Demiras and Frau were both arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. The two were intoxicated and the trouble began when they started demanding "quality time" with the Lusty Lady's dancers. "We don't have to pay. We're f*&@ing Monarchs," Frau allegedly yelled.

Inside sources have stated that the Monarchs front office was infuriated. "You want to know why Demiras is being traded for the second time? You want to know why both of these guys have sucked this year?" asked one source. "Because they're always drunk and out all damn night. That's why. They're ruining their careers."

Frau, previously highly regarded for his work ethic, has never been the brightest bulb in the room. Unfortunately, he quickly fell under the influence of Tony Demiras, who has been called "Locker Room Poison" by his former teammates in Hickory.

Stoker, a strict Baptist from Dubuque, Iowa, is a well-known teetotaller who has publicly preached against the sins of his fellow players. He is expected to add a more serious and sober note to the Monarchs' locker room. Will it result in a title? Time will tell.

3 comments:

  1. Hey! I've been drunk and gambling in Dubuque myself! Clean cut town my ass!

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  2. So, wait, how do I publish an original post on this board? There doesn't seem to be a button to do it.

    ReplyDelete

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